Dead Tours
by Deltree
Summary: Gay men are showing up dead all across Japan and the only connection is a tour bus. The case is pawned off on Tsuzuki and Hisoka and the two must do what is necessary to find the culprit even if it means stretching their relationship to new limits. TsuHis
1. In Which Nothing Big Happens

Title: Dead Tours

Warning: Yaoi, language, OCs, possibly some violence later on

Disclaimer: I don't own Yami no Matsuei or its characters

Pairings: TsuzukixHisoka, OCxOC (not that anybody cares), and maybe some TatsumixWatari

Summary: A string of murders is connected with a tour bus specializing in tours for gay men. Tsuzuki and Hisoka must pretend to be a gay couple and infiltrate this bus on its latest tour across Japan.

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Chapter #1: In Which Nothing Big Happens

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Kanoe at his side, Tatsumi stood up from his seat and cleared his throat to signal that he was ready to begin. Hisoka looked up from his perusal of the folder in front of him and Watari and Tsuzuki stopped talking long enough to pay attention, turning their eyes to the front of the room.

"Over the past several weeks there have been a number of murders," Tatsumi began seriously, looking out at his audience, "At first glance they seem random. There is no similarity in manner of death and they all take place in completely different areas of Japan. Gushoshin." Tatsumi nodded to the floating bird. "If you would."

Gushoshin nodded and dimmed the lights. Then, flipping another switch, the projector turned on and images of the dead victims appeared on the screen in front of them, one after the other.

Watching the screen, Tatsumi continued. "It seemed that the only thing linking these murders was the fact that not one of the souls had arrived for judgment. Now we know differently. We have had several Shinigami pairs working on the individual cases for awhile now and each pair has consistently come back with three similarities between the victims." Tatsumi turned away from the screen and looked at his audience to make sure they got this point. "One: their gender. Two: their sexuality. And three: this company." He indicated the screen once more where the images of dead bodies had abruptly changed to an advertisement. Two men stood with their arms around each other, smiling out of the paper, the name of the tour bus printed in bright cheery letters across the top.

"I've _seen_ that," Watari declared excitedly, leaning forward and pointing at the screen

"Oh me too!" Tsuzuki said, happily surprised. "They were advertising it out in front of my second favorite bakery."

Tatsumi ignored them. "This is Yamamoto Bus Tours," he said, indicating the screen again, "A tour line specializing in vacation tours for gay men, particularly couples. Each of the victims was a passenger aboard this bus when they were suddenly killed. Gushoshin." Tatsumi nodded at the floating bird again and Gushoshin turned off the projector. The lights came back on as Tatsumi continued seriously, looking out at the others. "Other Shinigami have already tried to discover the reason behind these deaths, but their progress has been hindered by the very nature of the company. Bus tours tend to move around a lot and have need for relatively little in the way of employees. So after some deliberation it has been decided that this case will be turned over to you."

"And what are we supposed to do that all the other Shinigami have been unable to?" Hisoka asked suspiciously.

"You two will pose as a gay couple and become passengers aboard this bus," Tatsumi answered calmly, sitting back down in his seat.

"You mean me?" Hisoka pointed at himself incredulously and then at Tsuzuki. "With _him_?"

"Hisoka!" Tsuzuki complained, pouting. "That's mean! What's so bad about being with me?"

Hisoka spared him a dark look. "Shut up," he ordered and then turned right back to Tatsumi. "Why can't some other pair go? Does it really have to be us?"

"I'm afraid so. You two are the only two who fit all the necessary requirements."

"And just what's _that_ supposed to mean?" Hisoka demanded, immediately going on the defensive.

"Nothing," Tatsumi said, face carefully blank, as though he had no clue what other connotations his previous statement may have had. "Just that you two are the only Shinigami pair currently working for us that is both not working on a case at the moment and is compromised of two men. This _is_ a tour for gay couples, remember."

Hisoka didn't have anything to say to that. It did make sense, but that didn't mean he had to like it.

"Oh come on, Hisoka," Tsuzuki said, trying to make things positive. "It'll be fun! Like a vacation!"

Tatsumi turned on Tsuzuki with a glare. "I fully expect the two of you to _work_. This is not an excuse to be lazy."

Tsuzuki flinched and scrunched down further in his seat. "Yes, Tatsumi," he said in a small voice, looking sufficiently cowed.

Tatsumi nodded, apparently pleased with Tsuzuki's reaction. Then he turned back to the point at hand. "You two will, of course, be expected to act like a real-life couple. Can we trust you to be able to do that?"

Watari bit back on a sudden laugh, covering his mouth with a hand, but he quickly got himself under control and schooled his face into a serious mask. Tatsumi spared him an unimpressed look. Kanoe raised a brow.

Thinking about what he may be forced to do, Hisoka blushed and ducked his head.

"Sure!" Tsuzuki said happily, getting back his enthusiasm for the case. Head snapping up to look over at his partner in some surprise, Hisoka's blush only worsened as he felt Tsuzuki's genuine happiness with the prospect. Did he not realize how embarrassing this could be? What they might have to do?

"Good," Tatsumi said, shuffling some of the papers in front of him back into a folder to signal the end of the discussion. He looked up from his shuffling and said, "Then you are dismissed."

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"I can't believe we're actually doing this." Nakayama Kanta laughed, holding onto his boyfriend's arm as the two of them entered the bus depot, carrying a backpack on his back and pulling his suitcase along behind him.

"I know," Takeda Seitarou replied, smiling down at his laughing boyfriend and pulling his own bag along behind him. "A vacation. I can't remember the last time the two of us had any fun together."

"It was seven months ago," Kanta told him, looking up at the taller man. "Remember? We went to that party?"

"Oh yeah," Seitarou said, remembering. He turned back to look down on his boyfriend's dark head. "Fujimura's, right?"

"Yeah! Everything since then has been business, business, business. I was starting to wonder if we'd _ever_ have free time for ourselves again."

"Well this trip should be just what we need," Seitarou said, breaking off the conversation and pulling his arm away from Kanta to hand his ticket to the ticket lady. That done he turned back to his boyfriend. "We'll sit back, read a few books, relax, take in some history, maybe even get some sun."

"And best of all," Kanta broke in excitedly, accepting his ticket stub from the lady and following his boyfriend outside to where the bus was being loaded up. "No laptops! No bosses! We can stay up late into the night watching all the old late night movies and sleep in till noon."

Getting in line to throw their suitcases in the baggage trunk, Seitarou looked amused. "If that's what you want. I didn't know you liked old movies that much."

"I don't," Kanta assured him with a smile. "I just like the freedom."

"Well okay." Seitarou laughed, handing his bag to the worker that was throwing the rest of the bags inside the bus. "But don't stay up too late. We do still have to follow the bus' schedule and they leave the hotel each morning around ten."

"So I'll sleep on the bus," Kanta said, not bothered by this forced change to his ideal schedule and handing his own bag over. "Not much else to do when we're driving anyways."

"True," Seitarou agreed, "I'll probably just read though."

Kanta smiled again as they went to go get in line to board the bus, amused by his boyfriend's love of reading. "Did you bring enough books?" The two of them stopped at the back of the line and began the wait. The bus wasn't being boarded yet so the line wasn't really moving.

"I should have," Seitarou answered, frowning a little as he tried to remember if he'd packed everything he'd wanted. "I brought almost ten."

Hearing this, Kanta blinked. "Isn't that a little much? I know you read really fast, but the trip's only two weeks long."

"Better safe than sorry. Isn't that an American saying?" Seitarou asked, smiling down at his boyfriend again. "Besides this way I have a choice in what to read."

Kanta opened his mouth, about to make a smart-alecky remark to that, when he was interrupted by the loud voices of the couple behind them.

"No, Tsuzuki. No," a youngish voice said, "I told you. One bag. You can have one bag."

"But _Hisoka_," another man whined in reply. "They're all so _good_. I can't decide which one."

"I don't care," the youngish voice replied coldly. "I'm not sitting next to you on a sugar high for the next _five hours_."

"But _Hisoka_."

Kanta and Seitarou turned around to find themselves facing two of the prettiest men they had ever seen. Now Kanta knew that he and Seitarou were considered good-looking, but this was . . . this was just ridiculous. What were the chances that two men _that_ pretty would find each other out of everyone in the world? It just didn't make sense. Well to be fair the shorter, blondish one looked to be technically a boy, but Kanta knew that no one under eighteen was allowed on the bus, so he had to be older than he looked.

And they seemed to realize they were being watched because the taller one turned to them with a wide smile and said cheerfully, "Oh. Hi!"

Seitarou managed a smile back, but Kanta was still too busy staring. Seitarou quickly nudged his nonresponsive boyfriend and Kanta was knocked out of what ever daze he'd been in.

"Hi!" Kanta replied cheerfully enough, if a bit belatedly.

"I'm Tsuzuki Asato and this is Kurosaki Hisoka," the tall man said, indicating first himself and then his shorter boyfriend.

"Takeda Seitarou and Nakayama Kanta," Seitarou said with a quick bow. Kanta clumsily followed his example, performing a sloppy bow as Tsuzuki and Kurosaki bowed in return. "Where are you two from?" Seitarou asked.

"The Kyuushu area," Tsuzuki replied, "What about you?"

"The Kyuushu area!" Kanta said with a wide smile.

"Really?" Tsuzuki said, his own smile growing in response. "Well nice to meet you!"

"You too!" Kanta said enthusiastically.

"Um . . ." Seitarou said, hesitating for a moment before he worked up the nerve to ask. He'd been looking at Hisoka through out this whole exchange and he just had to say something. "I'm sorry. I just have to ask," he said, "How old are you?"

Kurosaki kindly tried to hide his obvious annoyance with the question and just looked at them in long-suffering tolerance. "20," he said.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Seitarou said apologetically. "I'm really sorry. I just . . . You just look so young."

Kurosaki tried a strained smile. "I know."

"Hisoka just has one of those faces," Tsuzuki said cheerfully, putting an arm around his boyfriend's shoulders and pulling him into his side as he addressed Seitarou and Kanta. "He's gonna be carded until he's fifty!"

Kurosaki's attempt at a smile failed. "Oh I hope not."

"No, that's a good thing!" Kanta said cheerfully, wanting to make Kurosaki feel better. "I wish I could look as young as you do. Can you believe I'm already getting wrinkles? 26 and wrinkles!"

"Oh you can't tell at all," Tsuzuki assured him.

"And I think you look great," Seitarou said with a smile, putting his own arm around Kanta's shoulders.

Kanta smiled back at his boyfriend and snuggled into his embrace. "You always say that."

"And it's always true."

Tsuzuki nudged his boyfriend with a smile. "Hey, why can't you say things like that?"

Kurosaki just looked at Tsuzuki like he was out of his mind. "Why would I even want to?"

"Don't you wanna be sweet?"

"Not really."

Tsuzuki turned back to Seitarou and Kanta looking like he was about to say something before something seemed to catch his attention. "Oh! The line's moving!"

Seitarou and Kanta both turned back around to see that he was right.

"Where are you guys gonna sit?" Tsuzuki asked as they began to move forward.

Kanta looked to Seitarou for the answer and Seitarou took out his ticket stub to check their assigned seating number. "14 C and D," he finally answered then looked back up at Tsuzuki and Kurosaki. "What about you?"

Tsuzuki turned to Kurosaki as the strangely young looking man took out their ticket stubs. "15 C and D," Kurosaki replied, before looking back up at them.

"You're sitting right behind us!" Kanta said excitedly. "How's that for coincidence?"

"Yeah!" Tsuzuki replied just as excitedly.

Seitarou merely smiled at his boyfriend's excitement and tried to herd Kanta in the right direction. Ten minutes later they were all seated, all of their backpacks with their traveling entertainment stuffed in the right places. Kanta and Seitarou made sure they had anything they could want within easy reach, getting comfortable in their seats before Kanta turned around to continue the conversation with their new friends.

"So how did you two meet? No offense or anything, but you two don't exactly look like you would be involved in many of the same things."

Tsuzuki merely smiled, not offended, as Kurosaki continued to mess about in his carry-on bag, apparently looking for something. "We actually met at school."

That was unexpected. Kanta raised a brow. "You don't look like you'd be in any of the same classes either."

"We weren't," Tsuzuki said, "I'm actually a History major and Hisoka just happened to be enrolled in the class I TA'd for."

Kurosaki looked up at this to contribute, "It was an elective. I'm actually a Literature major."

"Really?" Kanta asked, more than pleased by this, "'Cause Sei-chan loves reading!"

Having been listening in, Seitarou groaned. "I thought I told you not to call me that."

Kanta turned to grin at him. "And that's exactly why I call you it."

Tsuzuki grinned himself at this interaction. "That's just like me and 'Soka-chan."

"I told you not to call me that!" Kurosaki hissed with a glare at his boyfriend, having apparently found his iPod and ridiculously thick book.

"But it's so cute," Tsuzuki replied, smiling into Kurosaki's not amused face.

"That's what I say!" Kanta said, happy to find someone similar to him. Him and Tsuzuki laughed stupidly together for a moment. Kurosaki merely shook his head and put on his headphones, apparently deciding to ignore the two.

Oh Kanta could already tell. He was going to have _fun_ these two weeks.

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After a brief interruption where the tour leader made some boring speech and told everyone the rules of the tour and bus, the conversation between Tsuzuki and his new friend Kanta continued on, with some interruptions by Seitarou, while the bus rolled out of the parking lot and started out for the first hotel on the tour. After discussing how Kanta and Seitarou had met (Kanta was the secretary for Seitarou's law firm), then commiserating about the difficulties of being in love with a brain ("They use such big words!" Tsuzuki complained.), and then finally arguing the merits of lollipops versus M&M's (Tsuzuki liked lollipops. Kanta worshipped M&M's) the conversation finally died down and Kanta decided to bug Seitarou while Tsuzuki turned his attention to the window to watch the scenery fly by. A cheap bag dinner was passed out to the passengers with the promise of better food tomorrow morning. Kanta poked at his experimentally for a bit while Tsuzuki tore into the bag and scarfed the cold sandwich down as quickly as possible. He'd been hungry for a while and Hisoka had made him throw away one of his bags of candy before the bus had left.

Finally the bus rolled into the hotel parking lot in Hokkaido and everyone on the bus quickly made their way out, stretching and groaning and praising God for the ride being over for the night.

"Alright," the tour leader said loudly as he called everyone over to him, "Everybody gather round! I have your room keys!" He waited until everyone had gathered around him before announcing, "Make sure to remember that we leave at ten in the morning tomorrow. You need to be out here dressed and ready. No exceptions. And we have a long way to drive so make sure to get lots of rest. Here are your keys. Raise your hands when I call your name and come and get them. Suzuki and Ishida!" A nondescript couple raised their hands and pushed toward the front of the crowd to take their key. Then the next couple was called. "Yakamura and Yagami!" And the process just continued until everyone had their room keys and had headed off to find their rooms.

Tsuzuki read off the number on the key, "Room 206," then turned to Hisoka. "So that would be the second floor, right?"

Hisoka nodded and the two of them waved good-bye to Seitarou and Kanta for the night and went to find the elevator.

"You think they gave us two beds?" Tsuzuki had to ask as they stood in the elevator, desperately hoping that they had even though he knew it was a long shot.

Hisoka shot him an unimpressed look. "Don't be stupid. They think we're a couple. Of course they didn't."

And as they finally got to their room and opened the door, Tsuzuki was dismayed to find that Hisoka was, as always, right. And this hotel was Western style too. He groaned, letting himself feel miserable for a moment before turning to examine the floor. It didn't look that bad. It was carpeted at least.

Hisoka closing the door behind them, the two of them dropped their baggage at the foot of the bed and then Tsuzuki went looking for an extra blanket.

Hisoka eyed him strangely as he dug through the closet. "What are you doing?"

"I'm looking for an extra blanket," Tsuzuki answered, voice somewhat muffled as he was still somewhat busy rummaging around in the storage space.

"Why?"

Tsuzuki stopped what he was doing at this and turned back to face his younger partner with a small frown. "I'm sleeping on the floor," he said as though this explained everything.

"Don't be stupid," Hisoka said again, giving him a look. "There's more than enough room for both of us on the bed."

Tsuzuki turned to look at the bed in question. There definitely was enough room. Still, he hesitated. "But . . ."

"We're going to be given a single bed the entire time we're here," Hisoka said logically, "We may as well get used to it. There's no reason you should sleep on the floor for two whole weeks."

Torn, Tsuzuki looked at the closet then at the bed again. "Well, yeah, but . . . What about your empathy? Wouldn't that kind of affect you?"

Hisoka shrugged and walked over to his suitcase to unzip it and get out his pajamas. "Just try not to touch me."

Tsuzuki hesitantly stepped away from the closet and his search, but he was still torn. "But what if I roll over in my sleep?"

"Tsuzuki." Finding his pajamas, Hisoka stood and turned to Tsuzuki to say, in a voice very similar to that of a teacher talking to a slow but loved student. "It'll be okay."

"Well . . ." He guessed if Hisoka said it was okay then it was okay. "Well, okay. I guess that's fine." And it wasn't like he'd give up the chance to sleep in the same bed as the object of his affections when said object didn't seem inclined to tear his head off for it.

Hisoka just nodded and went into the bathroom to get changed. When he returned, Tsuzuki was laying face toward the foot of the bed and flipping through the TV channels. Seeing this, Hisoka frowned.

"I thought you said you would read the mission report," he said.

"I'll do that tomorrow night," Tsuzuki replied, seeming absorbed in his quest to find something to watch. "Nothing's going to happen for at least three days. I have some time."

Hisoka's frown deepened, but he eventually decided it wasn't worth fighting over and went over to sit on his side of the bed and got comfortable, taking out his book to read.

The first day was over and they'd so far managed to fool everybody into thinking that they actually were a couple. Now they just had to worry about the next day and finding out who was murdering those men.

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TBC?


	2. Hokkaido: Part One

I wanted to say thank you to all the people who reviewed including fox gal, ShinigamixGirl, aki, Hiya120, Hanamaru, FlyingShadow666, Lady Katelynna, Sir Gawain of Camelot, Maggie-Morbid, strawberrydevil, Amakurikara, Closet Chocoholic, the-bunnys-echo, Serendipity281, Sea Queen, Jacky-the-Ripper, and Snowy Leopardess. Thanks!

Oh and I also want to say sorry for taking so long to get this next part out. Sorry! And hope you like it. The real case hasn't really begun yet but it should soon enough.

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Chapter #2: Hokkaido: Part One

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The first outing of the tour was the city of Sapporo in Hokkaido and after another two hours of driving the next morning, the bus made it there and the passengers started to unload.

"This place is kinda nice," Tsuzuki noticed, looking around him at the busy streets. Sapporo was Hokkaido's capital city and as such it was the biggest city on the island, made up of modern buildings and apparently a rather active nightlife.

Hisoka, not really caring about the scenery, snorted and wrapped his arms around himself, hugging his winter coat closer. He was so cold. He didn't care how much cool stuff it had, he didn't like Hokkaido at all. Much too cold even if it was a bonus that the Hokkaido girls wouldn't be able to meet up with them because they were on a case.

"Doesn't look like there's anything interesting going on at the moment though," Seitarou noted as he read through his guidebook of Japan. Most of the stuff in the book he already knew, but there were some tidbits in it that were really useful to know. "The Snow Festival was months ago and the city's not really known for any need-to-see sights."

Kanta looked somewhat confused by this. "What? But I thought Sapporo was really big on clubs. I wanted to go clubbing."

Seitarou looked up from the tour book to smile at his boyfriend reassuringly. "And we can, but I think we have to wait until it gets dark for that, remember?"

Kanta nodded, looking reassured, but Tsuzuki and Hisoka both looked a little concerned.

"Clubbing?" Tsuzuki asked with a frown, almost afraid of the answer.

Obviously hearing the fear in the question, Kanta frowned at his new friend. "Yeah. Didn't you know?"

Tsuzuki shook his head.

"Then you didn't pack any club gear?" Kanta asked.

"Well . . . no," Tsuzuki said hesitantly.

"Don't worry. We have all day. I'm sure we'll be able to find something for you to wear," Seitarou said soothingly.

"Oh yeah!" Kanta said, starting to look excited. "Shopping!"

Obviously unsure about this, Tsuzuki looked to Hisoka who was staring at Kanta with wide eyes. Tsuzuki couldn't imagine Hisoka really wanted to get dressed up in slutty clothes and throw himself into a writhing mob of drunk people. "I don't . . . think we'll be going," Tsuzuki said slowly as he turned back to Kanta. "We're not exactly . . ." How to put this? "club people." Yeah, that worked.

"Don't be stupid," Kanta said, waving him off. "Get enough drinks in you and _everyone _is a club person."

Hisoka then turned his wide eyes to Tsuzuki, obviously begging him to find a way out of this.

"It's just . . ." Tsuzuki started again. "Hisoka really doesn't like crowds." He paused then added, "Or dressing up." He thought about this again. "Or showing skin." Then once more he thought and added, "And he has absolutely no tolerance for alcohol."

Kanta blinked. "What, really?"

Tsuzuki nodded. "The one time he did drink he passed out after one sip."

Kanta turned to Hisoka then. "Wow. That's pretty bad." Then he frowned and seemed to consider the blond. "But that doesn't mean you can't go. I mean, you like music, don't you?"

Hisoka frowned. "Of course."

"And you're really too good-looking to not dress up," Kanta continued, still considering the blond before him. "I mean, you look great now, but you'd probably look _amazing_ in some leather pants and a clingy shirt. You don't have to show any skin at all if you don't want to."

Hisoka tried not to look uncomfortable under that assessing stare, saying flatly, "I don't like crowds."

"But you can ignore that for one night, can't you? It's only a few hours."

Hisoka looked at him a moment and then said flat out, "No."

Kanta frowned. "What. So you're just gonna sit in the room all night after you paid so much for this vacation? That doesn't make any sense."

"I don't really care."

"Oh c'mon," Kanta said. "It's just one night. Try to broaden your horizons a little. You'll have fun, I promise."

Hisoka shook his head stubbornly. "Still not going."

"Tsuzuki-san will be there," Kanta said, still trying to convince him.

Tsuzuki blinked. "I will?"

"Just go along with it," Seitarou said.

"Don't care," Hisoka said.

"But I won't be able to have any fun if I know you're stuck at the hotel," Kanta tried, but then, seeing that that wasn't working, switched to another method. "And Tsuzuki-san will be lonely by himself. And he'll look single and available. Do you want him to look single and available around all those drunk and horny people? 'Cause I know I wouldn't if it was Sei-chan in his place."

Hisoka opened his mouth once more to say that he didn't care and that there was no chance in Hell he was going when Tsuzuki nudged him. Turning to his partner, Hisoka asked an impatient, "What?"

Not saying anything, Tsuzuki made this kind of gesture with his head. Not getting it, Hisoka blinked once and tilted his head slightly in confusion. Tsuzuki made the same gesture and then raised his eyebrows emphatically.

Oh. Right. The mission.

Hisoka frowned and tried to think of a way in which his not going to a club would somehow negatively affect their mission. Not finding one, he turned to Tsuzuki again and shook his head.

Tsuzuki only nodded his head insistently, eyes wide. Hisoka shook his head again and Tsuzuki continued to nod insistently.

Frowning, Hisoka had to admit that maybe Tsuzuki had thought of something he hadn't and so turned back to Kanta and Seitarou to say, "Alright. I guess I can put up with it for a little while."

Kanta and Seitarou, who had watched the whole "conversation" silently, looked only amused.

"You do that a lot?" Seitarou asked with a smile.

Tsuzuki looked blank. "Do what?"

That set Kanta off laughing and Hisoka rolled his eyes.

Tsuzuki scratched the back of his head, confused as to what had so amused their new friends. When it seemed Kanta's laughter was dying down, Tsuzuki decided that they had been standing in the same spot near the bus for far too long and so looked to Seitarou.

"Does that book tell you any good places to eat around here? I'm _starving_."

"Tsuzuki . . ." Hisoka trailed off, shaking his head.

"What?" Tsuzuki asked, looking back at Hisoka with a hurt expression.

Seitarou raised a brow at the request, but turned back to his guidebook nevertheless. "It does talk about two restaurants that are supposedly must-sees."

"Ooh!" Tsuzuki said, turning back to Seitarou and starting to get excited. "What are they?"

"Well there's the Hyosetsu-no-Mon which is apparently really popular, but it only has king crab dishes. Or we can go to this one, Hanamura, for the really simple stuff like tempura and noodles."

"Which one's cheaper?" Hisoka asked.

"Hisoka!" Tsuziki cried. "What's that got to do with anything?"

Hisoka leveled Tsuzuki with a stern look. "We have a budget and you know what happens when we go over that budget."

Tsuzuki looked utterly disappointed, but nodded anyways. "Tatsumi gets mad."

"Right," Hisoka said, still giving Tsuzuki that stern look. "And so we're not going to go over it, are we?"

Tsuzuki looked pained. "No."

Kanta was looking amused again by this whole exchange. "Who's Tatsumi?"

Tsuzuki was still looking too sad to really hear anything, but Hisoka glanced over at him and answered, "He's a friend of Tsuzuki's who's basically taken over our finances after this idiot here nearly ate us out of our apartment. He did it back when we weren't dating too, but I refuse to freeload off of friends like he did back then so it's never going to happen again." Hisoka shot Tsuzuki another stern look.

"He eats that much?" Seitarou asked, looking a little doubtful.

Turning back to him, Hisoka merely nodded solemnly. "And more. You really need to keep an eye on him."

"Then we should probably go to the really cheap place, Hanamura. I like tempura anyways," Kanta said, but then aimed a look Hisoka's way and added, "And then shopping."

As if Hisoka could forget.

And so the plan was made and the foursome made their way down to the noodle and tempura place. When they got there it was bustling with the lunch crowd, but they managed to find a seat and got comfortable. Tsuzuki was happy enough with his tempura as he hadn't, so far, been denied any sweets and he was hoping that because they were eating at such a cheap place they might have enough in the budget left over for dessert.

And while they were sitting there, just talking of inconsequential things, Hisoka finally found the point where he could start asking about the investigation. "So what made you decide on going on this tour anyways?" he asked curiously. He was and had been determinedly ignoring all of the emotions in the room that were pressing on his shields and giving him a headache. This was for the case. And later it would be for the case too. He was _really_ not looking forward to the clubbing experience, but tried to keep from dwelling on what was to come.

Seitarou and Kanta looked at each other and shrugged. "Well normally at this time of year we'd be going to the beach," Seitarou answered, "But even Kanta agreed that that was getting a little repetitious and I'd always wanted to see the rest of Japan. So we settled on a compromise. He'd still get his day at the beach in and I'd get my chance to travel."

"But why _this_ tour bus?" Hisoka asked and Tsuzuki finally looked up from his food as he noticed the interrogation. "Couldn't you have found one where people aren't turning up dead?"

"We liked the fact that it was for gay couples," Kanta answered. "I mean, we have to hide our relationship enough during our regular life so it's nice to not have to hide it when we're on vacation. I should be resting then not worrying about who will see me and Sei-chan together and get ideas. And I'll be damned if somebody finding a few dead bodies robs me of my vacation."

"Why'd _you_ choose this tour if you're so worried about the deaths?" Seitarou asked curiously, apparently going to ignore the cutesy nickname for the moment.

"Because, like you said, it's nice not to have to hide our relationship," Tsuzuki answered, starting in on the lies. "It's bad enough that we have a bit of an age difference, but Hisoka's family is _really_ old-fashioned and they really look down on homosexuality and wouldn't stand for it in their heir."

Hisoka felt the brief pang that always came from talking about his family, but ignored it to back up Tsuzuki's statement by saying, "Father would have an absolute fit and disown me and I still need him to pay for my college tuition."

Seitarou and Kanta looked immediately sympathetic. "Oh, I'm so sorry," Kanta said then continued, "We've actually already told our families about our relationship and while my parents still won't actually recognize it as something real and not some phase I'm going through, they would never actually _disown_ me.

"How'd your parents take it?" Tsuzuki asked, looking to Seitarou now.

Seitarou looked a bit hesitant to smile, but finally did. "Oh they had guessed I was gay since I was about thirteen and didn't care in the least. I think it may have been my obsessive need for clean that clued them in. What about yours?"

"Don't have parents," Tsuzuki said, not letting it show that this bothered him in the slightest. "I was raised by my older sister and she was just too thrilled that I had anybody to really care. She never was one to let petty prejudices get in the way." That may have come out a bit sadder than Tsuzuki had meant (It was hard enough to talk about his older sister without trying to pretend to be happy about it) and Kanta and Seitarou immediately picked up on the lowered mood. Hisoka felt them become wary and genuinely sympathetic.

"She sounds amazing," Kanta said cautiously.

Tsuzuki nodded with a soft smile. "She was."

"She died?" Kanta asked, just as cautiously.

"About a year ago," Tsuzuki answered.

"I'm sorry," Kanta said and Hisoka could feel that he obviously meant it.

But Tsuzuki took the sympathy as he always did—with a fake smile, bursting with fake happiness. "Don't worry! It's okay," he said cheerfully, waving Kanta's sympathy off.

"How did you get through college?" Seitarou asked as an obvious means to get past a sensitive subject.

"Oh I got some scholarships, some federal aid," Tsuzuki said casually, "and I work at a small Private Investigations Office to make up for the rest."

"Oh?" Kanta asked, visibly perking up. "That sounds interesting. Much more interesting than anything we do, at least."

"Hey," Seitarou protested mildly. "Being a lawyer can be interesting."

"Yeah, but this Private _Investigating_," Kanta said, not bothering to sooth his boyfriend's wounded ego. "I bet they get all the interesting cases."

"Oh we really don't," Tsuzuki said, continuing with the lies even though Hisoka could tell that Tsuzuki was already starting to feel bad about having to lie so much to these people. They normally didn't ever have to become so in-depth with their guises. "It's mostly tailing cheating husbands and filling out paperwork."

Hisoka couldn't help the snort that came then. It was just automatic whenever Tsuzuki talked about doing paperwork. He honestly couldn't help it. "Like you actually do paperwork," he said.

Tsuzuki looked hurt. "I do some."

Hisoka merely raised a brow. "Some," he repeated.

Tsuzuki cringed just a little bit. "Okay. A little," he amended.

Hisoka rolled his eyes and decided to let that pass without comment. He turned back to the couple seated across from them at the table who were smiling at Tsuzuki and his byplay. "But what have you actually heard about the deaths?" Hisoka asked, continuing with the interrogation.

"Isn't this a little morbid?" Kanta asked, but then smiled mischievously at Hisoka. "I guess you must be into that sort of thing though. Dating a PI and all."

Hisoka felt himself blush and cursed himself for it, deciding that maybe it was time to let the subject go before they became suspicious. "No. I just was curious. I haven't heard anything about the murders besides what's in the paper and you know they don't really supply too much information there."

"Of course," Kanta said, rolling his eyes. "Because the victims are _gay_ men. And we all know that the death of a gay man doesn't deserve to be investigated thoroughly."

Tsuzuki frowned at this open display of cynicism. "I'm sure the police are doing all they can."

"Not much they can do, what with the murders being so random and far apart," Seitarou said with a shrug, taking a sip of his soda. "I heard they looked into the Tour and didn't find anything so they're probably now scratching their balls and forgetting all about it."

Hisoka's eyes narrowed. These two were actually feeling some open hostility toward the police. He guessed it wasn't that strange considering some of the things the police had let go, but that was enough for maybe a mild dislike or distrust not the true anger that these two were feeling. Tsuzuki looked like he had noticed it too, and like he was about to make a comment, but Hisoka put a hand on his arm and subtly shook his head, telling him to ignore it for now.

And then Kanta was finished with his noodles, finally, and he smiled, trying to clear the suddenly heavy atmosphere. "So shopping? We still need to find you guys some clubbing gear after all."

Seitarou nodded and got out his guidebook again. Flipping through the pages, he came back to the Hokkaido section and read a bit. Finally he looked up. "Well there is a somewhat important shopping center we could go to. The Tanuki Mall."

Kanta looked at him. "Is it far from here?"

"Um . . ." Seitarou said then looked through his guidebook some more, trying to find the answer. After awhile he said, "It's a bit of a ways, but we can always take the subway."

Kanta and Hisoka nodded in agreement and started to get out of their seats when Tsuzuki pouted and turned to Hisoka pleadingly. "Can't we have some dessert first?"

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Unable to believe he had let Tsuzuki talk him into this, Hisoka stared at himself in the mirror. He still needed to figure out what the problem would be if he didn't go clubbing with the group and Tsuzuki _would_ answer that question as soon as he got him alone.

"Kurosaki-kun?" Kanta's voice called through the dressing room door. "Are you dressed?"

"Hardly," Hisoka grumbled under his breath, eyeing once more the strange mess of cloth and leather he had somehow squeezed himself into. The leather pants were simple enough although they had strange buckles going all the way up his legs. It was the shirt he really had problems with. A long sleeve shirt, it looked like some psycho had attacked it with a pair of scissors and then patched it up again, leaving holes in random places along the sides and sleeves and the rest meshed together in strange ways. And it _clung_. Stubbornly outlining his body in ways none of his other clothing ever did.

Still, he was dressed. Giving a heavy sigh, Hisoka decided to get this over with. He'd already modeled what felt like hundreds of outfits only to be told they were no good. This one would be no different.

"Alright, I'm coming out!" Hisoka called to Kanta then opened the door and stepped out into the hallway.

"Ooh," was all Kanta said as he took in Hisoka's appearance. Frowning lightly, he narrowed his eyes and then said, "Turn."

Rolling his own eyes at this repeat process, Hisoka obediently raised his arms and turned in a slow circle. He couldn't believe he was actually doing this.

But Kanta seemed please. "I think we may have found the one."

Hisoka stopped turning and blinked at the older man. "What. This?"

Kanta nodded.

Hisoka still looked a bit surprised. "Seriously?"

"Uh-huh," Kanta said cheerfully as he started to grin widely. "Oh, am I a genius or what? Tsuzuki-san is going to love me."

At that, Hisoka frowned before turning to look at himself in the hallway mirror. "But I look ridiculous," he said.

Kanta wasn't really listening though. "You," he said as he pointed at Hisoka with both hands, "my fashioned-challenged friend, are my masterpiece. Now we just need some make-up, maybe some hairgel, definitely eyeliner," Kanta walked around Hisoka, eyeing the boy speculatively as he muttered to himself and planned out Hisoka's further torture. "Oh yeah. Definitely eyeliner. You have gorgeous eyes. Do you think glitter would look good?" he asked then just as quickly answered himself. "No, never mind, you are definitely not a glitter person. But maybe some lip gloss?"

Kanta continued to mutter to himself and Hisoka had to ask himself for the thousandth time what the hell he was doing here.

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TBC


End file.
